A Very Serious Occasion
“Look here,” snorted the new Editor to his trainee Ace Reporter. “What’s all this you’ve written about people dressed up as Rhinos, Gorillas, Spring Chickens and Clowns, assembling for the annual Gower Marathon? We can’t have frivolous reporting like that. The Parish AGM is a very important affair at which seven villagers out of six hundred showed sufficient interest to attend, so it’s no laughing matter. I have received information that a most senior and well respected village elder — no less a person than Mr Frederick Inns himself — has demanded a serious report. So try again – and this time keep it serious.”
So, to pacify our new Editor (et al.), I shall don my long, belted raincoat and my bowler hat — I shall ascend my rostrum and wave my tiny red flag to indicate a false start. I’ll jolly well return to the tapes and start again, remembering — no frivolity. Mr Inns wants a serious report, not a load of rubbish about Eric running carefully on cobbles, Petra rounding the Cutty Sark closely followed by Maureen, Tom collapsing on Westminster Bridge after reporting what can be done with unwanted bales of straw, and Fred escaping from the Tower and joining the runners disguised as a Group 4 escort. This meeting is a very serious matter – frivolity begone!
So – a second attempt –
A VERY SERIOUS OCCASION by your Ace Reporter
- On Thursday 25 April at 7.30pm prompt, the Chairman, Mr E Payne, opened.the 1993 Sibford Gower Parish Council AGM with due solemnity, welcoming his Clerk and three Councillors, together with our two Local District and County Councillors and seven villagers.
- The Clerk, Mrs P Berry, read the Minutes.
- As all items had been attended to, there were no ‘Matters Arising’.
- The Accounts were read.
- The Chairman gave his Report including his appreciation to the Town Estates Charity for financing the new road signs. The Parish ‘rate’ would remain the same for 1993. (Yip— sorry!)
- No representative was present from the Town Estates Charity — account details could be obtained by contacting Mr P Baadsgaard, if any villager were interested.
- The three Councillors reported on the three ‘out-of-town’ meetings they had attended.
- Our District Councillor reported that “he rather thought” Cherwell District had passed a grant of £1000 to repair our Pond. (Whoopee! — sorry!)
- The time had now reached 7.50pm. (Twenty minutes into the race. — sorry, Sir!)
- Mr F Inns and a few others then began to raise serious matters; such as grass cutting – illegal gates – gushing gullies – wrongly sited grit bins – overflowing skips and road signs facing the wrong way. This continued for forty minutes until 8.30pm, with a long-suffering, jovial (but, we hasten to add, serious) Chairman allowing discussion to flow endlessly.
- At 8.30pm, the Chairman suddenly closed his book and announced that the meeting was now over, because the Fish & Chip van would shortly be leaving the district. (This was a very flippant remark for such a serious occasion — a remark which, it is hoped, he will not have to regret at the next AGM.